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My Retirement


          Sounds like a Speed song, doesn't it?  "My Retirement."  NEwayz, in all seriousness.  I am tired.  I'm 18 years old, and I get no free time for this stuff when I'm at school.  I thought I'd have more time during the summer, but I'm working two jobs, both of which involve commuting and one of which involves development of a corporate web page, so I'll barely have enough time for my own personal pages.  So I'm retiring from anime.  This is the official end, because I kind of gave up on it a while ago.  Let's face it, I watch South Park more than I watch anime when I'm at school, and Japanese dramas when I'm at home.  And I read Solomon's Organic Chemistry more than I read manga (though I still read a lot of manga; I prefer it to anime).  There's nothing new out on TV, too.  And I'm still disappointed about Anime Expo.
        Why am I disappointed with Anime Expo?  Well, let's start with the fact that I hate LA.  The second I get to the county, my asthma kicks into full effect.  Then I'm in Anaheim, home of the happiest place on earth, but Disneyland's too expensive.  And I was feeling sick from the air, lack of sleep, seeing too many otaku at once, etc.  The only reason I'm there is to meet Yuu Watase, and hopefully get a sketch or autograph.  So I go to the guest reception.  I talk to her, but later when I come back to take a picture and ask her really nicely in Japanese if I can take a picture with her, I'm pushed away by a couple of fangirls in costume.  Only after they leave can I resume with my picture.  So I go to bed early.  I go to the panel the next day.  I am one number away from winning a sketch.  The sketch was won by the girl in front of me, the girl who cut in front of me in line.  I am bitter.  My brother's friends cheer me on to try devious means of getting her autograph.  I get pissed anyway, so I decide to head over to a friend's house in West LA to go on a shopping spree.  I had a hundred times more fun hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend at the mall, K-town, and at her grandparent's house watching Picture Perfect than I did at the convention.  It's the truth; I actually have a very active social life, and I still love hanging out with my high school friends almost every weekend.  It takes me 45 minutes to get from the highway off-ramp back to the hotel.  Another reason why I hate LA.  Sunday, still no luck, and I get pushed away by some retarded staff member who has been exploiting her power all weekend, getting sketches from the guests of honor.
        Basically, I'm tired.  I spent more money on clothes (got some good deals at Banana Republic, tho) and Namie Amuro stuff than anime stuff in LA.  I want to be a doctor, not an anime translator.  And how have I ever truly profitted from my anime work?  I get some gratification from knowing that some people can only watch a series or read a manga because of my translation.  But is that enough?  Not any longer.  Getting pushed away by fangirls and losing out to disinterested teens in the raffle was not my idea of fun.  Let alone walking through the dealer's room smelling all those hella nasty smells.  Deodorant please!!  I will can't completely stop watching; no, I've been watching since I was 5, how could I?  And I'll still have my manga.  But the web stuff, the translating, it's too much.  I might help out my brother from time to time, or if you pay me enough I'll do it, but that's it.  Unless you can give me one good reason why I should continue.  If you have one, I want to hear it.   e-mail me and tell me your reason.  If it's good enough, maybe I'll consider going on with translations, subbing, etc.  Otherwise, all manga translations will stop after I finish the second chapter of Ayashi no Ceres.
        So that's it.  Thanks for visiting my site and reading my rant this far; hope you understand my viewpoint.

        Lekha Matsumori Rao -  July 7, 1998



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